Questions about marrying gods or spirits?

This is a signal boost for a project I’m pleased is happening (there are multiple books in the works on the topic of sacred marriage, in fact). There is considerable misunderstanding on the topic of sacred marriage within a pagan and polytheist context despite (or hell, perhaps because of) historic and mythic precedent for such expression within our various traditions. This configuration is both a paradigm of relationship and a complex engine of spiritual development that has the potential to create both highly refined and very unexpected and unusual outcomes in one’s private religious life. It is both self-justified (existing for its own sake) and undertaken for reasons beyond the personal.

No single volume will be able to capture the fullness of this particular spiritual expression because it is a phenomenon being currently practiced and furthered here, today, now. We are learning more and more about it simply because it is a practice emerging and being rediscovered. Though I strongly believe that devotional practices and expressions don’t need to have their value justified, an clear exploration of these topics is valuable to people seeking a greater understanding.

You have questions? This is a good opportunity to ask them of people who are willing to answer.

Naiadis's avatarStrip Me Back to the Bone

I haven’t talked about it because I’m a tad superstitious when it comes to talking about writing projects before a certain amount of work has gone into them, but Beth has talked about it, so why not?

We’re writing a book on Sacred Marriage.

(Most important to note: we’re writing a book on our experiences of being godspouses for the last decade and then some. We are writing the book we wish had been when we started upon this path. It is not meant to be an authoritative “this is how you must do it” book — anyone who reads our blogs or knows us online should hopefully know by now that that’s not how we roll. We are far more in the “this is what works for us,” camp.)

Part of the book will be addressing questions, so if you have any to ask, now’s your chance! I’m not saying…

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Petition As Magic; Petition Is Magic

In my mind, I’ve had this rather clear distinction between prayer and magic. Prayer is a private conversation between you and a Power. That conversation might be celebrating that Power, thanking them, praising them, asking for their assistance, expressing your fears and concerns, or just touching in. It’s characterized by communication.

Magic, specifically spell work, is also expressive but less nebulous in its purpose. Magic (spell work) is intended to get shit done. Instead of talking to someone, you go out and take care of business. The spell worker draws upon personal skill, the ability to move energy around, and a high degree of problem solving ability in order to bring about their desired outcome. Though there are instances when spells and prayers might be very similar in form, in my mind these two things work best when they’re fairly distinct. To me, calling spell work “just another word for praying” was rather missing the point of both activities, but to each their own.

Recently though I’ve been rolling around a new perspective on both these activities. The ability to get your ideas across, to communicate clearly and meaningfully with the Powers, and the confidence that help will be forthcoming are all important parts of prayer. Praying is in its own way a magical skill. It’s the power of petition. Anyone can pray, just like anyone can do magic. However, saying a prayer does not make you a pray-er any more than doing magic makes you a magician. Time, effort, and a good relationship with the relevant Powers are also important.

There are Powers for whom prayer is magic. They are easily petitioned and respond rapidly. Some people are exceptionally good at achieving outcomes through prayer. Some people are able to become exceptionally good at it. All this means that the same ethical guidelines that apply to one’s magical practice must be applied to any practice of prayer that might be undertaken.

Prayer is not necessarily “safe” or “harmless”; ask anyone whose family members have tried to pray their gay away, to pray away the perceived flaws of gender identity or expression, or for that person to return to the fold of a religion left behind. Prayers don’t simply just hang out in the universe doing nothing if some sacred mediator decides that that power isn’t needed. Your actions, including the energy you send out in the form of a prayer or petition for intervention, will have consequences.

Right now I’m thinking about sitting down at the bargaining table with a particular Power, one who likes prayers. Learning her prayers and then reciting them would incline this Lady towards my request. Her eagerness for this particular offering suggests that prayers do, in fact, have more value than we (I) might have ever imagined.

Catching up on comments – soon

I’ve been quite busy for more than a week now and have had to scale back my blogging time. I’ll be getting to some of the comments that have stacked up in the meantime and try to make a couple new posts. On the other hand, I might get handed another big batch of work by one of my editors and another plumbing fixture in my apartment might break. We’ll simply have to see how it goes.

Thanks for sticking with me. Have some Meera.

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Deity and the Divine (Pagan Experience Project week 3)

I’ve tried to start this post four different times. I’ve read the responses to this topic by friends and strangers hoping for some clue that would get me started in a fruitful direction. After several hundred aborted words mostly about my pissy attitude, I gave up. Maybe this stupid project was a dumb idea. Maybe I should just quit. But no. My practice and a significant share of my spiritual experience relates quite specifically to the divine. Leaving them out of a blog specifically intended as an platform for writing and thinking about my spiritual life leaves me without a whole lot to say. Ultimately I decided to go with a Q and A format. We’ll see how this goes.

So: God, huh?

Gods plural. The Gods. Those Gods, them Gods, my Gods, your Gods. Plural. Distinct and recognizable, but not necessarily known in their entirety by the human race. Possessed of their own priorities, motivations, ambitions, and desires. Vulnerable to their own mistakes and failings. Frequently interested in the advancement of human concerns, but not necessarily so. Occasionally injurious but again, not necessarily so. They have an elaborate system of interactivity set up that allows people (and non-people, why not?) to connect in reasonably safe and meaningful ways. Getting the Gods to actually show up and party is best left to experienced and/or ambitious weirdoes with an irrational taste for standing right close to spiritual radioactivity.

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Pagan Experience Project (Week 2): Personal Practice

I’ll be honest – this topic was almost why I didn’t decide to start this project. I have a hard time talking about my personal practice.

See, I can talk about *what* I do; I can talk about the obstacles I run up against, I can talk about the various ways the Gods fit into my practice, I can talk about how the things I’ve done have changed over the years. I can talk a lot about the details but I have a very hard time pinning down any unifying theme or underlying philosophy. Maybe by writing some of this down I can begin to puzzle a bit of it out.

I feel like ideally my personal practice ought to serve as a reminder of what’s important to me. It should be an emotional and spiritual touchstone that orients me and gets me pointed in the right direction. Because these private moments serve as an orientation, they ought to be done frequently. Without this reminder, I could get distracted by things that aren’t actually high on my priority list. I could lose touch with the principles that I’ve decided are important.

So is this what my personal practice does? Well, yeah, pretty much. It certainly hasn’t failed in any of these respects. However, what I’m noticing is that I might be trying to do entirely too much if my goals are this straightforward. The time that I spend doing what might be called my personal practice is actually pressed into the service of many different goals:

  1. Providing a spiritual and emotional center and mental clarity.
  2. Connecting in a meaningful way with the Powers most dear to my heart.
  3. Practicing hospitality, attention to detail, and general ritual skills.
  4. Giving time to meditation, mantra, breath work, energy work, and other important techniques.
  5. Study, study, study.

That’s a lot of juice to squeeze out of the personal practice fruit. “Is it any wonder,” I asked myself, “That I struggle with my daily practice?”

One’s personal practice can be all kinds of things. It could be a devotional practice, a magical practice, a ritual practice, a prayer practice, a scripture study practice, etc. But perhaps – just perhaps – it doesn’t need to be *everything*. Maybe I need to simplify. For a long time my trajectory has been pointed towards greater complexity, towards more time spent. And this makes me happy. It makes me feel good. I love what I do. I want to do more of it. But the fact of the matter is that I’m doing less even as I’ve approached doing more.

That said, there was a period of more than a year where I did do all these things every day. It was great, I loved it and somehow I made it happen. I don’t know how. A magician I know rightly pointed out that a schedule fully kept even with moments of struggle and indifference will have greater fruits than a schedule kept only when it seems convenient.

I firmly believe that the Work sustains you. It sustains me, that’s for certain. It draws me back to what I’ve chosen to prioritize and it gives me a center when I can’t find my own. I want to love it and I want to serve it. Part of that is feeding it through practice. In a way, I’m saving up for my own emotional future.

I’m torn between giving into my impulses to spend more time at the altar even though I’ve got loads of other things on my hands and decreasing the complexity of what I do in an effort to make it  happen more easily and more frequently. Some kind of balance has to be found. I want to just toss my obstacles into the fire of practice and let them go but that’s not exactly the way I work. I know myself well enough. It has to be a gradual grind, a very slow refining if the changes I make are going to stick.

I made up my mind this morning to think about one day at a time. I would decide “Today I am going to practice” every day. I made this choice this morning. Thus, I will find some way to follow it through today. Tomorrow I’ll get to make another decision and we’ll see where that leads.

The Pagan Experience Project (Week 1)

My friends Beth (Wytch of the North) and Jolene (Strip Me Back to the Bone) have posted a couple responses to The Pagan Experience Project, a themed blogging effort. I decided to give it a try. I have no idea how long I’ll be able to keep up my efforts on this particular front but I’ll stick it out as long as I’m having fun.

Week 1’s prompt has to do with resolutions. I don’t actually make any. I consider my generalized irresolution as a character flaw and I’ve found that when it comes to fighting the battles of self-improvement, it’s not a good idea to go up against this particular flaw in addition to whatever else I might be trying to change. That said, there are a few things in 2015 I’m looking forward to.

First, I’m looking forward to a successful trip to PantheaCon. I’m excited to reconnect with some people I met last year as well as meeting some new people this year. I’m happy to have polished my presentation and I hope that people enjoy it.

Second, I’m curious to see just where this book making project will take me. In many ways, it’s more sustainable than certain other of my artistic efforts (clothing design specifically). It might even offer greater potential for marketability. This is actually a fairly important concern given that getting rid of the things I make keeps my living space livable. Books take less room to store than fancy gothy clothes, so that’s nice.

Third, I’m tentatively optimistic about presenting at Many Gods West. I won’t hear back if I’ve made the cut for a few months. Being accepted would be an honor; being declined would be a relief. I’d love to go but not having a major financial obligation in the middle of the year would be OK, too.

And finally, I’m quite committed (but not resolved!) to working on the new book. I don’t know when it will be done. There are other writing projects I’m sorta working on but this is definitely the priority.

Letter to a New Spirit Worker (pt. II)

Dear You,

If the Powers and Potencies can be said to have one shared, defining characteristic, it might dynamism. Their ability to effect change manifests in more ways than we are even aware of, though we try to make sense of these sacred personalities by outlining the ways in which their dynamism is most obvious to us and our interests. This is why we say one Power is like lightening while another is like the slow inexorable pace of a glacier. This is why we say one Power is related to love spells and high wild windy places and tiny Shetland ponies and another is related to the depths of computer networks. It’s all just various avenues of potential change.

It’s helpful to remember that this dynamism is a naturally arising property of their being; they can’t not act and they can’t not cause change through their proximity. Sometimes they can be convinced to throw some weight behind a particular magickal working of ours but that’s more a matter of focusing sunlight through a pinhole than turning on a light. You’re not getting something new; you’re getting a focused measure of something that’s already there and active.

Since the Powers effect change and make things happen by virtue of their being, and not necessarily for any specific reason or motivation, we have to be cautious when assigning reason and motivation to them. The Powers have their own motivating concerns and those very rarely have anything to do with us. We as human beings are not likely to be their priority unless they’ve specifically chosen to get involved with us. Even then, but for a scant handful of savior-types, our human comfort and well-being is not a major concern. Do you care about one particular variety of crustacean endemic to a few volcanic islands? You probably care in a general sense of having concern for the welfare of the planet and you might have a more personal sense of concern if those volcanic islands happened to be near and dear to your heart for some reason but you do probably aren’t super concerned about the intimate struggles and concerns of these crustaceans on a day to day basis. Not because you’re a bad person, but just because you have other concerns occupying your mind.

The Powers are generally quite responsive to human attention and will reciprocate when approached with courtesy and kindness. However, you must never mistake affection for altruism. Your welfare is up to you. The Powers will help you and they will do so because maybe they like you and because maybe your goals are in line with their goals or maybe because they owe you a favor or maybe because they’re hoping that you’ll owe them a favor or maybe because you’re working on an interesting project and they want to get involved, or whatever. They will help you for a million and one reasons but not at the expense of other goals they have in mind.

They will, however, help you grow if you’re willing to take responsibility for your welfare and for your own decisions. Getting circumstances to transform into more a more harmonious arrangement is kinda what they do (see above). If you’re lucky and have a good working relationship with the Powers then this arrangement will have a harmony that strongly benefits you. If not, you’ll have to tough it out or maybe find a Power whose dynamism is more in line with yours.

A lot of people don’t want to step up to this responsibility. I know they don’t because I didn’t. I went through the same growing pains of developing a greater sense of spiritual and material maturity. I wanted the Gods or the lottery or a guru or *anyone* to come along and make life better for me – and by better, I meant easier. By better I meant simpler. By better I meant advantageous to me.

I got all this, but not the way I wanted. I got these things because I was given lots of practice taking care of myself. And life got better and easier and simpler and started providing more advantages for me. And yes, I had and still have a whole hell of a lot of help. The help that came my way made such a positive difference because I was already putting in effort on my own. The Gods can help with this but they can’t and won’t and don’t want to do it for you.

This isn’t a bootstrapping philosophy. This is more about recognizing your own power, your own worth, your own ability, and the utter dread power of your own responsibility. The power of choice and consequence is yours. By making choices with the weight of deliberate effort behind them, you can reap more potent consequences. Just make sure you’re actually choosing to do the things you want to do. There will always be unforeseen consequences; the only thing you can control is your ability to choose.

In an effort to make life easier and better and more advantageous people will sometimes shop around for answers. There are countless Powers and Potencies out there and each one of them has all the answers you could ever want to hear. Some of those answers might even be helpful and relevant. You must never bargain your autonomy for answers. Many Powers – even several who would be considered “good” or “benevolent” or “white hat” by those of us on the ground – will feed you answers till you burst just to get you on their team. It’s less work for them this way because you’ll be able to plug in their answers to every question and conflict you ever come up against.

Your number one loyalty has to be to yourself. I’m a Lokean, so I get to tell this particular secret. Any compromise on this point will turn your autonomy into an ante and you will loose the greater capacity for effecting change on your own terms. Without this greater capacity, you’ll never grow into the kind of worker you have the potential to be. And that’s fine – if that’s what you want. Is it?

All my love,

Me

Making Relationship Available

As you probably know, various traditions within the Hindu religious complex are very near and dear to my heart. These traditions have taught and nurtured me, and played a formative role in getting me to where I am today. Before there was Kali, before I was introduced to Wicca, before I even had any witchy friends, there was Krishna. Why wouldn’t there be? He’s become a global presence precisely because He’s so darn lovable. His name means “all attractive”; He possesses all attractive qualities and attracts all intelligences towards Him.

krishna-731To use spirit work terms, Krishna has one hell of a call center. He’s got an answering service that can do just about anything. In my experience, He’s intensely difficult to actually get on the line. But really, He doesn’t need to take His own calls. As the cause of causes, He can just sit back and hang out. His heavenly realm is one of eternal springtime, dancing girls, and happy animals. As far as His doctrine is concerned, He doesn’t need to do anything; He causes other causes, and those emanations do the rest.

Everything I know about Krishna, including my own experience with His call center, tells me that He’s a benevolent, easy-going guy who loves to have His friends around. So when I did finally encounter Him, the conversation didn’t go like I was expecting.

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The Astral and You: Finding Your Astral Self

The subject of the astral self is one that has gotten shamefully little explanation within esoteric polytheism. Even among spirit workers this subject can be frequently taboo for frustratingly complex and ambiguous reasons. Yes, individuals had and have very good reasons for not talking openly about these things. There is immeasurable pain bound up in the astral lives of those who have gone before you, before me, before those I have learned from, and before those they have learned from. When a person begs for information on the nature of the astral self, they beg to hear about intimate traumas, betrayals, and failures.

But –

The pain that I, my teachers, and their teachers have endured in our astral aspects does not negate the very real suffering that people experience as they emerge into a fuller awareness of their potential as astral beings. These are growing pains that have been suffered alone and silently for generations and I’m sorry that you’ve inherited such a dearth of useful information. It’s because your ancestors in the Work have been traumatized, sometimes beyond reasonable recovery. Take a look at the threads, if you’re able. Take a look at this heritage and you will see a legacy of muted misery endured in solitude. You will see how cruel the gods can be.

But –

This is changing. The evolution pressed forward by the efforts of these elders has emerged and different outcomes are now possible. There is a greater willingness to talk about the things that happen to the astral self and there is a growing awareness that these things are real and that they have distinct impacts on the portions of the self that aren’t specifically astral.

Me, my teachers, their teachers, and their teachers weren’t the ones to record the lessons of the astral self. Yeah, there’s information out there for the finding but it’s skimpy and ultimately not terribly helpful except for providing a few dozen words to echo your private experiences. The need outweighs what’s currently available. If the mystics and Workers and devotionalists and magicians and seekers who have more recently entered this current combine what they know and shake off the trauma-bound reluctance of the past, a body of knowledge can be created that may help to boost this emerging stage.

So I’m suggesting that you talk amongst yourselves. I can’t, won’t, and don’t wish to contribute to this conversation at this point (or, let’s be honest, ever). But I will encourage the conversation to continue because this knowledge has the potential to relieve the suffering of the future.

Book People

I love books. I love books as an item, a medium, and as an icon. I bet many of you do, too.

I began thinking about books as magical items a few years ago. Not magical items in a metaphoric sense or with regards to their ability to transport the reader. Actual magic items, the same as one’s wand or staff or ritual robe or whatever. Items that could impact subtle psychic codes or induce a state that was highly receptive to the author’s message. People who know me personally know I have an appetite for fine press occult books (and now that I think about it, I made a Youtube video about this very subject so now everyone knows about my little hobby). I like these books for many reasons, including because these high-ticket items are not shy about being magical. Many of these volumes are designed to be magical. They are supposed to teach you something besides what the words are telling you. There’s something else that can happen – but only so long as the reader brings the key. It’s a true collaboration of energies

But see, lots of books have very similar principles, even if they have not been designed with esoteric principles in mind. The reader has to bring something to the book and together, something new is generated. Book people understand this. That said, appreciating a book on an esoteric or magical level is pretty exciting.

I started making books because I didn’t have the money to buy fabric for a new sewing project. The whole process was enjoyable and engaging and I got some positive feedback. I kept going and gradually got a little better. I set a pile of little blank books on a table when I vended at a fandom convention and almost all of them sold. I didn’t expect people to respond to them. So I kept making them, still getting better but not really doing much with them.

Then financial peril struck in late December. Some heavy bills hit my checking account at the same time and tore through my living funds and a portion of rent. I had to come up with some money quickly. I finally had the motivation to put the little blank books up for sale online on Etsy after waffling about it for months. And they sold. Not all of them and not right away, but they sold. A going-out-of-business sale at an art store got me a few of the expensive supplies I’d put off buying. I made more and posted more and I’m working on five custom orders. Books are magical for lots of reasons.

I’m still facing some very tight weeks and traveling to PantheaCon is going to be a real challenge (I already bought the plane ticket so I’m kinda locked in) but something new has opened up. I don’t know where I’m going with this particular creative avenue. I know I want to make books as magical items for people and I know I want to continue to refine my skills. Mostly though I just want to make people happy. That’s what gives me the most pleasure.

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